That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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