where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
