So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
