either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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