it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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