I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
