I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
