I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize