I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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