she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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