I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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