im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
