you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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