i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
