used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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