If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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