glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
