is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
