Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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