Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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