i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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