ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
