Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
