LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
