The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
