her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
