I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
