Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
