She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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