What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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