they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
