i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
