its not stalking. its research.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize