just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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