i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
