this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
