Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
