How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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