DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
