Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
