i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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