dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
