Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
