its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
