I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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