i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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