Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
