I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
