ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
