i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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