Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
