Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize