yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
