Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
