one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
