you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
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Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
