I wannas sexs uuuuu
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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